Embracing the December Meltdowns
The Advent season is upon us! The excitement in the hallways is electric, in more ways than one! Our staff has created a beautiful and magical holiday display for our students to enjoy. December is truly a magical time at St. Francis Early Learning Academy. We are busy preparing for the holidays, learning about the birth of Christ, and enjoying the anticipation that comes with this special time of year.
However, for most families, December also brings a change in routine. With the colder weather, we are spending more time indoors than usual. Between the lack of outdoor running room and the disruption of holiday schedules (shopping, late nights, family gatherings), you might notice your little ones struggling with their emotions.
As parents, it can be frustrating to see your child act out, especially during what is supposed to be a "joyful" season. You might ask yourself, "Why do they keep doing that?"
To help navigate this busy season, we want to share some wonderful insights from the University of South Florida regarding challenging behaviors. These tips are perfect for helping our children navigate the "holiday wiggles" and indoor days.
Behavior is a Tool
The most helpful thing to remember is that behavior is communication. When a child doesn't have the words to say "I'm overwhelmed," "I'm tired," or "I want that toy," they use actions, sometimes loud or messy ones, to get their message across fast.
Usually, children use these behaviors to do one of two things:
To GET something (attention, a toy, or a treat).
To AVOID something (going to bed, eating a new food, or cleaning up).
The Parent Detective: A 4-Step Guide
If you are seeing challenging behaviors at home this December, try these four steps to turn those moments into learning opportunities:
1. Observe Pay close attention to the "when" and "where." What happened right before the meltdown? Was it right before nap time? Was the house noisy with holiday music?
2. Track Look for patterns. If the behavior always happens before dinner, perhaps your child is overtired. Knowing the pattern helps you adjust the routine—like running errands in the morning rather than during the "witching hour" before dinner.
3. List Brainstorm why they are doing it. Are they trying to get your attention while you are cooking? Are they trying to avoid putting on their snow boots? Narrowing down the "why" is the key to solving the problem.
4. Teach Once you know the trigger, you can teach them a better way to communicate. Pick a calm time (not during the meltdown!) to try these methods:
Role Play: Use puppets or dolls to act out the situation. For example, have a doll say, "I want to run and play, but Mommy is putting on my coat. I will take a deep breath and count to four to tell Mommy that I am angry and not shout.'"
Read Books: While reading a holiday story, ask questions about the characters. "That elf looks frustrated. Why do you think he feels that way?" This helps children identify their own feelings.
Talk Ahead of Time: This is crucial during the holidays! Transitions can be scary. Before you go to the busy grocery store or a family party, involve your child in the plan. "We are going to the store after this puzzle. Would you like to pick a special toy to hold while we shop?"
We Are Detectives at School, Too!
At St. Francis, we use these same strategies in the classroom. When we are stuck inside due to the cold, and two friends want the same toy, we don't just stop the behavior; we teach the skill.
If a student grabs a toy out of frustration, we might say, "You looked frustrated that your friend had the truck. Next time, use your words and ask, 'Can I have a turn when you are done?'" We work hard to build their confidence so they can express their needs without using their hands.
The Bottom Line
The holidays are busy, but they are also a wonderful time to connect. By understanding that your child’s behavior is just a way of talking to you, you can help them manage the stress, fatigue, and excitement of December.
